You’re never too busy to start a side hustle. Just ask Donald Trump
In what might be the least shocking news to come out of the US 2024 Presidential Election Circus, former President Donald Trump has added another feather to his red “Make America Great Again” cap—by launching a fresh side hustle: selling more merch.
While most Presidential candidates shake hands, kiss PR-planted babies at campaign rallies, and explain away their last tweets, Trump is out there marketing watches to go with his campaign promises. Because if there’s one thing he’s always had a knack for, it’s turning literally anything into a business opportunity.
According to an Associated Press report, the Republican candidate unveiled the “Official Trump Watch Collection” on Thursday. The most expensive, listed as including 122 diamonds on its bezel and available in three 18-karat gold styles, costs $100,000. Another “Fight Fight Fight” model is listed at $499.
This side hustle comes as part of Trump’s 2024 “campaign,” or as we’re calling it—The Big Job Interview. With legal bills, debates, and, well, running for the highest office in the land, you’d think Trump wouldn’t have time for a little capitalist flair on the side. But when it comes to The Donald, it seems a presidential bid just wouldn’t be complete without a sprinkling of merchandise, bling, and some self-promotion on the side.
Although websites for the various products mention that proceeds from sales do not directly support Trump or his campaign, they also highlight that each product operates under a “paid license agreement.” This is the same arrangement that enabled Trump, long before his political career, to earn profits from the sale of items like water, vodka, and steaks for years, according to the AP report.
A merch store for a presidential campaign makes total sense in Trump’s universe. Running for president is expensive, and what better way to fundraise than to sell a little bling? Donations are great and all, but selling products? That’s the good stuff. After all, how can you really make America great again if you’re not selling the American people something to wear while you’re doing it?
Here’s a list of more merchandise:
Silver Coin (featuring Trump’s face)
Price: $100
“God Bless the USA Bible”
A Bible inspired by country singer Lee Greenwood’s patriotic song, “God Bless the USA,” a track Trump uses at his rallies.
Price: $59.99
“Never Surrender High-Tops” (Trump-branded sneakers)
Shiny gold high-top sneakers with an American flag detail on the back, promoted as “Never Surrender High-Tops.”
Price: $399
“Victory47” Cologne and Perfume
Trump-branded cologne and perfume sold as “Victory47.”
Price: $99 per bottle
Too gauche? Nah.
Of course, critics may wag a finger at Trump, suggesting that blending business with politics (again) is a little gauche, even for him. But this is the same man who built a reality TV empire on firing people, slapped his name on buildings worldwide, and once made steaks a part of his brand. What’s a watch or two (or fifty) on the campaign trail?
One might even wonder if Trump’s latest merch push is a kind of wink to his supporters: “I might be headed to the White House, but just in case, I’ve got a backup plan.” After all, presidential terms last four years, but a Trump Timepiece? That’s forever—at least until the battery dies.
In the meantime, while other candidates stress over poll numbers and policy details, Trump’s watching the clock (quite literally) and cashing in on a product line that says: “Why should the presidency stop me from being the ultimate businessman?”
At this point, the only thing left is for Trump to slap his name on the entire presidency itself. What’s next? The Oval Office—sponsored by Trump Swivel Chairs? Stranger things have happened.