Networking events can be a mixed bag. On one hand, they’re a goldmine for career opportunities, new connections, and fresh ideas. On the other, they can be anxiety-inducing for those who dread the inevitable small talk and awkward silences. But what if you could walk into your next event with curiosity and confidence, armed with conversation starters that spark genuine connections?
Here are some foolproof questions to break the ice, put you and others at ease, and help you put your fear of small talk in the past.
Starting conversations with strangers
All of our childhood we are told “not to talk to strangers.” Then in adulthood, you are expected to speak to strangers every day: at the coffee shop, grocery store, business meetings to the penultimate awkward networking event.
Sometimes the hardest part about starting a conversation with strangers at a networking event is walking up to someone or a group to introduce yourself without feeling like Billy No Mates. So, one of the best ways to break the ice is to show some vulnerability.
Don’t tell them your life story in the first minute or reveal private details of your personal life. Just something that makes people relate to you or better yet allows someone to feel they are in the know and can offer a helping hand.
For example, you could approach someone or a group by asking:
1. “Hi, I’m [your name]. I haven’t been to a networking event in a while. I feel a bit rusty. Have you been to this one before?”
This question helps gauge the other person’s familiarity with the event and potentially uncover shared interests. It also invites them to share a positive or relatable experience, setting a friendly tone for the conversation.
This question is also a great conversation starter because it allows the other person to offer their motivations for attending the event. Their answer can provide valuable insights into their interests, goals, or industry.
2. “Did you have to travel far to get here?“
Even if an event is very local, this opens up a whole bunch of nuggets of information. It may reveal if others live locally or have come with others. It will be easy to find common ground on how expensive petrol prices and public transport are these days. And if the person cycled there, well there’s another topic to ask about.
3. “What’s keeping you busy these days?”
This question sparks intellectual curiosity and can lead to fascinating discussions about a wide range of topics. It also shows that you’re genuinely interested in learning from others. If they work in a different area than you, be curious and ask them a question that will allow them to share their expertise. It delves into the other person’s professional passions and aspirations and speciality area. It’s a chance to learn about their current projects, career path, or whether they are a go-getter.
It also may prevent someone from feeling awkward if they are not working on anything and desperately looking for work. It’s not necessarily a work-related question. If they seem like they are not busy work-wise then perhaps consider asking if they have come across any courses or new apps, especially anything to do with artificial intelligence.
4. “How did you get into your line of work? Have you been freelancing for long?“
This can reveal a bit about their personal career path and areas of freelancing that they like (and don’t). You can then share how you got into freelancing or your area of work. You may find that there could be an opportunity for you to collaborate on projects you could co-pitch to clients especially if your areas of expertise complement each other. Isn’t that what networking is all about? Making mutually beneficial connections?
5. “How do you find work these days? Do you use an agency or pitch solo? I usually do X”
This question is a great way to uncover their freelancing style. It can also lead to valuable recommendations and future connections. For example, you may consider a fixed-term contract via a recruitment agency, which you have never considered before after listening to their experience. Or use a different networking social media or job site to get your profile in front of new clients or recruiters.
6. “Are you one of the lucky ones who has managed to find a good work-life balance?”
This could reveal if they are into any sports, hobbies or good (or bad) habits. This also helps you learn about them as a person and not just a freelancer. They may help you learn how to balance your work-life balance or vice versa.
7. “Have you ever done the digital nomad thing and worked abroad?”
This question can reveal where they like to travel or would love to go someday and that’s a great way to open up other topics and share your experiences.
Bonus Tips:
- Be curious: Even if you work in the same line of business, they won’t do everything just like you. Their clients will be different and you can always learn something new. That should be your goal in addition to meeting new people and making some contacts.
- Active listening: Pay close attention to what the other person is saying, ask follow-up questions, and show genuine interest.
- Body language: Maintain good eye contact, smile, and adopt an open and approachable posture. Shaking your head validates what they are saying or new pieces of information you find interesting.
- Find common ground: Look for shared interests, experiences, or connections to build rapport.
- Be yourself: Authenticity is key to building genuine connections. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
- Don’t be afraid of silence: A brief pause in the conversation is perfectly natural. Use it to collect your thoughts or observe your surroundings.
- Mingle, that’s what these events are for. If the person you approach is proving very difficult to speak to, then you could always offer if they’d like to join you in approaching another group. They may be better in groups and you could then meet some more talkative or interesting people. Your time is valuable so use it wisely.
- If you’re an introvert, there are ways you can use this to your advantage. Read how in this article: How could your personality impact your success?
The goal of networking is to build meaningful connections, not just collect new contacts. By approaching conversations with curiosity, empathy, and a genuine desire to connect, your fear of small talk will subside and you may even look forward to your next event with a new sense of curiosity and inspiration. You should always try to arrange a follow-up meet-up for coffee or a drink and at the very least exchange numbers with anyone you connected with. Y
You never know where that contact could lead you in life or business.
