A new report highlights the importance of support for navigating the ups and downs of self-employment. After reading the not-so-sunny findings, I saw the key takeaway as this: every freelancer, no matter how experienced, needs a check-in buddy.
Here’s how to go about finding one (or two).
Some weeks you might be spinning so many plates — deadlines, meals, school runs, kid concerns, elderly parents, math homework, health issues, money worries — that you don’t even have time to get the “lonelies”.
What are the “lonelies” ?
You know those days when you feel isolated from everyone?
Feel like no one can show you the silver lining?
Wouldn’t it be reassuring to know that you have someone to check in with when a case of the “lonelies” does strike?
Someone who you know will make you feel that this too shall pass and give you that laugh you didn’t know how much you needed? Who knows, maybe you could be their reciprocal check-in buddy. Do they have to be a freelancer? Not necessarily. Perhaps you can have different check-in buddies for different aspects of your life.
Would you go into the high seas without a lifejacket? No. So, why are you going through life without a support buddy?
Probably because it involves feelings, vulnerability and time. Well, so does being a freelancer. See this process as part of your job. Your livelihood. Because the “lonelies” when left unchecked, can turn into clinical depression. You could be entering that phase and not even know it yet.
The message is: do not let finding a check-in buddy become something you put on the back burner.
What is clinical depression?
Depression ranges in seriousness from mild, temporary episodes of sadness to severe, persistent depression. Clinical depression on the other hand is the more-severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It isn’t the same as depression caused by a loss, such as the death of a loved one, or a medical condition, such as a thyroid disorder.
To diagnose clinical depression, many doctors use the symptom criteria for major depressive disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association.
Signs and symptoms of clinical depression may include:
- Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
- Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
- Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
- Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
- Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
- Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
- Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
- Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
- Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
- Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
- Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
Symptoms are usually severe enough to cause noticeable problems in relationships with others or in day-to-day activities, such as work, school or social activities.
–Dr. Daniel Hall-Flavin, The Mayo Clinic
Check-ins can be for the good times, too
Check-ins are not just about feeling less lonely, yet that’s a big part of it. A check-in with a support buddy could be your sounding board, a source of inspiration, and a much-needed dose of accountability. That call wit your buddy can help you celebrate wins (i.e. you won a new client to clearing out the junk drawer), navigate tough situations (can’t afford the rent) and stay motivated (pitching to a client in an industry you want to break into) even when you think you won’t get to the other side. They don’t have to be friends or family. They can be a fellow freelancer who gets what you’re going through.
The need for this kind of support is clear. The annual report, which was published jointly by Leapers and Freelancing.Support, shows us that a worryingly high number of freelancers are struggling. Some 45% of freelancers saw a decline in their mental health in 2024, with many experiencing feelings of isolation and a lack of adequate support.
By prioritising new and old connections and building strong support networks, freelancers can get through those ups and downs with more confidence.
Here’s what the report tells us and why we need to do something collectively to turn these figures around:
- Isolation is rampant: 71.9% of freelancers felt isolated or lonely sometimes or frequently in 2024. The UK is facing an epidemic of loneliness, freelancers and the self-employed seem “disproportionately” affected. 33% of those surveyed reported feeling this way frequently, which is three times higher than the national average
- Freelancer mental health is getting worse, not better: 45% saw their mental health decline, with 31% unable to work for 3+ days due to this
- Support is lacking: 70% don’t feel they have adequate support for their mental health at work
- Ghosting and late payments are rife: 72% experienced ghosting, and 71% experienced late payments. The question is who is NOT getting ghosted and paid on time? What’s their secret and who are their clients?
So, how can a check-in buddy help?
- Combat isolation: Regular contact provides a sense of community and belonging. Your clients are not going to provide this for you. Plus, you will want someone independent from your client to work as a sounding board. That means you have to be responsible for finding your people. Enjoy the process in finding them, too
- Boost mental well-being: Sharing experiences and challenges can be incredibly therapeutic. It can also be scary and emotional. But all that angst needs an outlet and you will start to see things in a new light when you hear the challenges of others. You could learn that your challenges are not so bad after all or the exact opposite whereby you realise you do need support and no longer should be carrying so much on your shoulders
- Increase accountability: A buddy can help you stay on track with goals and deadlines. This could be work, health or socially motivated
- Spark inspiration: Bouncing ideas off someone else can lead to new perspectives and solutions. Perhaps even an amazing business idea!
- Celebrate successes: Having someone to share your wins with makes them even sweeter. They can remind you of what you have accomplished, which you may have forgotten.
Ready to find your perfect match?
- Connect with other freelancers: Join online communities, such as The Freelance Informer and Freelancing.Support or reach out to freelancers or people you admire. After reading this article, I would suggest making a list of candidates. Low on names? Start searching your contacts. Or DM me on LinkedIn and I would be happy to help if I can or help connect you with a fellow freelancer or someone within your industry as a check-in buddy.
- Look for shared values and goals: Choose someone who understands your ambitions and challenges. This could be someone you connect with via LinkedIn or Instagram or a local business group or a connection at your local sports club.
- Make it a regular thing: Schedule weekly or monthly check-ins to stay connected and supported. Don’t let this slip.
Freelancing should never be a solo journey. There are millions of freelancers around the world, so let’s start embracing the power of connection, find our check-in buddies and turn those stats in our favour.
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