Whether you’re a solo entrepreneur juggling multiple projects, or a contractor embedded a few days each week in a client’s office, the pressure to appear knowledgeable and capable is immense. But here’s a secret weapon to boost your credibility and build trust: asking for input.
Sounds counterintuitive, right? Won’t asking questions make us look incompetent? Quite the opposite, according to Dr. Jenny Woo, a Harvard-trained educator, EQ researcher, and founder/CEO of Mind Brain Emotion.
According to Woo people with high emotional intelligence do the following when talking to others:
1. They ask questions that elicit deep feelings
2. They mirror your verbal tone and body language
3. They share personal mistakes and failures in a meaningful way
Why? Because it proves several key qualities that clients and co-workers value:
Honesty and humility: Acknowledging you may have done something differently on another project and want to understand how you can best serve a client shows you’re honest and have a realistic self-assessment. Clients appreciate authenticity over pretence.
A growth mindset: Asking for someone’s input signals collaboration and a desire to learn and improve. It shows you’re committed to delivering the best possible results, even if it means seeking opinions.
Strong communication: Clearly articulating your needs and seeking clarification prevents misunderstandings and costly mistakes. This proactive communication builds confidence and fosters a collaborative working relationship.
However, do your homework. Before reaching out, show that you’ve already explored some avenues. This shows initiative and respect for the other person’s time.
Choose the right person. Find individuals with the relevant expertise who are likely to be receptive to your request. Read their body language to see if they seem approachable. Otherwise, you may be wasting your time with someone who is not interested in building relationships at work or who has had a horrible morning.
Show genuine interest
Instead of a vague “I’m stuck,” pinpoint exactly what you need help with. Ask engaging questions. That can mean go beyond small talk. For example, instead of surface-level questions, ask open-ended ones that encourage the other person to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences: “Do you have a preferred method of doing X?” or “What’s your perspective on…?”
Show genuine interest by asking follow-up questions that show you’re truly listening and want to learn more.
But how do you connect on an emotional level? After a few interactions with someone, try inquiring their passions, what brings them joy, what plans they have for the weekend and even their challenges. This builds a deeper connection and shows empathy.
Mirror their communication style
Pay attention to their pace of speech, tone of voice, and gestures. Gently mirroring these can create a sense of rapport. Mirroring shows you’re attuned to them and helps them feel understood.
But don’t overdo it. Mirroring should be subtle and natural, not an obvious imitation.
“By sharing both their positive and negative experiences, highly emotionally intelligent people encourage those around them to share, learn, and grow together,” says Woo.
Share your mistakes (they don’t have to be work-related)
How do you go about doing this? Don’t be afraid to talk about your setbacks and what you’ve learned from them. This shows authenticity and encourages others to open up.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be work-related either. They can be general daily observations or about something universal such as travel to work.
However, if you have come a long way from that experience, it is worth noting, too.
View vulnerability as a strength
It allows for deeper connections and proves self-awareness. Turn negativity into a learning experience by reflecting on your failures and using them to grow.
Building emotional intelligence beyond clients
The benefits of asking for help extend beyond client relationships. Connect with fellow freelancers, join online communities, and seek mentorship. Building a support network can offer valuable insights, advice, and emotional support, making your freelance journey less isolating and more fulfilling.
Embracing vulnerability and asking for input is not a sign of weakness, but a hallmark of emotional intelligence and a powerful tool for building trust and credibility as a freelancer.
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