Did a colleague commit a cardinal sin on a shared project? Or did the boss issue a demand worthy of dictator? Before hitting “send” on a rage-fuelled email that could torpedo your career or client relationship down the tubes, take a deep breath and consider these tips.
A well-crafted email can be a powerful tool, but one written in the throes of fury can backfire with spectacular consequences. So, switch on some soothing music, and let’s channel the wisdom of management coach Mads Singers before you fire off that virtual hand grenade.
1. State Your Desired Outcome
Clearly stating your desired outcome helps your colleague understand the next steps. Do you need them to resend a document with corrected figures, apologise for a missed deadline that left you scrambling, or schedule a meeting to discuss the issue in more detail? Be explicit about what you want to achieve.
2. Cool It Down
A 2021 study published by the National Library of Medicine explored the role of the amygdala, the brain’s emotional centre, in processing anger. When triggered, it can cloud judgment and lead to impulsive behaviour, like sending an email you’ll later regret. Psychologists recommend waiting at least 24 hours if possible to cool down, allowing for a calm and rational response.
3. Avoid “I” Statements
A 2018 study by Harvard Business Review found that managers who used “I” statements during feedback were often perceived as weak or overly focused on their own feelings. Mads advises, “Forget all that ‘I feel frustrated’ stuff at work! Focus on the problem itself. Is the budget in chaos again? Be clear and assertive about what needs to happen.”
4. Proofread, Proofread, and Proofread Again!
Even the most eloquent wordsmiths can fall victim to typos and grammatical errors in the heat of the moment. Mads recommends taking a break from your email and returning to it with fresh eyes to catch any mistakes that could undermine your message.
5. It’s Good to Talk (Especially When You’re Fuming)
If crafting an email feels like a daunting task, don’t hesitate to talk to a trusted colleague or someone in HR. They might offer a fresh perspective or help you communicate your concerns more constructively. Perhaps a face-to-face conversation or a phone call would be more effective than an email.
Remember, your goal is to resolve the issue, not escalate it. By cooling down, focusing on the problem, and using positive, clear, and respectful language, you can express your concerns effectively and hopefully achieve an outcome that satisfies everyone involved.
As Mads aptly puts it, “In the end, a well-thought-out email can turn a potentially negative situation into a positive one, fostering better understanding and stronger professional relationships.”
Here are some other key points from Alison Green of the office etiquette site Ask a Manager
- Avoid sending heated emails, especially to your boss: Emails can easily be misinterpreted and escalate conflict.
- Choose face-to-face communication for sensitive topics: In-person conversations allow for real-time clarification and understanding.
- Own your mistakes and apologise sincerely: Acknowledge your error, express remorse, and outline the steps you’ll take to prevent similar situations in the future.
- Demonstrate professional maturity and growth: Learn from your past experiences and actively work on improving your judgment and communication skills.
These tips are crucial for maintaining healthy professional relationships and avoiding unnecessary conflict. By taking them to heart, you can build trust with your colleagues and manager, and ultimately, advance your career.
